Grand Master – Stinkin Pussy
Religious Advisor – Anal Rose
Beer Meister – Stinkin Pussy
Song Meister – Shoe Said Head
Habadashery – Stinkin Pussy
Hare Rasier – Fucking Shittarded
Hash Cash – Fucking Shittarded
Hash Secretary – Fucking Shittarded
Hash Flash – Father Lube
Hash Geek – Stinking Pussy
Role Descriptions (Like you Care):
General Manager, oversees of the hash, god or goddess of all that is H.A.N.K, making sure others do their jobs, calling meetings and stepping up to fill other jobs if someone is unable.
One of the most important jobs in the hash. Maintains the integrity of the circle including all its traditions, leads or helps to leads the circle in songs, keeps crowd control and starts circle in a timely matter (usually best before food is put out). The goal is to have maximum participation in the circle and to express the importance of this ritual to hashes everywhere. The occasional smack down may be needed but respect is the most powerful tool. Duties also include making sure down down beer is ready (provided by the hares) and cups are available for those who are without, a special down down vessel is always a nice touch. It helps to be loud, fun and likable.
This is the back-up to the hares. When the hares are unable to pick up a keg beer meister picks up the slack and gets the Keg instead. Beer Meister ranges for the bucket and tap to make it to the start so it can be given to the hares and as an added bonus they do not have to pay hash cash when they perform their duties. When Kegs are not required Beer Bitch is no better than any other hasher.
This is a hasher with no self-respect. (S)he never lacks for a song suitable to the occasion. His songs are risqué, lewd, and vulgar. The Songmeister speaks with other hashers and hashes to acquire songs to add to the hash hymnal. The mission is to explore new tunes and new celebrations. To boldly go where no Songmeister has gone before (pardon the split infinitive.)
Sells the shirts, lanyards and other H.A.NK. hash items before and after the hash, helps to arrange orders of new items and support the design of new orders with the rest of mismanagement, get freebies to those traveling to other hashes and generally force people into buying as much of our wonderful shit as possible.
Fills the calendar with interested hares, keeping up the calendar so dates are filled well in advance. E-mail, call or otherwise discuss the role of hares to all hares who agree to take a date on the calendar. Bribe, beg, force, guilt or find other means of getting virgins and other slackers to pick up a date.
Treasurer of the hash, before each hash they collect the hash cash, repay the hares up to $40, manage the hash account, and give aways, deposit money and bitch at people who choose to pay in coins.
Maintains the hash book and the running count of how many hashes each person has attended. At the start of each hash they sit with hash cash and sign in all the hashers as they pay. Once a month or so they update the spreadsheet with the count of each hashers and keep track of who has reached prize worthy numbers (10, 25, 50, 69, and 100). Hold the prizes and ensure that necklaces get made.
Recorder of all events using the hash digital camera (or passing it off to other willing photographers). Upload the pictures to fb. Some pictures may need to be edited or removed before posting due to nudity or crappy photo taking. Also required to charge the battery in advance of the hash so sad hashers are not left without memories because some jack ass forgot to do it.
Updates the website with counts of hashers, changes in guidelines, updates in mismanagement and adding new links when needed. Most difficult job in Mismanagement and we nabbed a real weiner this time.
Half-Assed North Kitsap was brought to you on July 9th 2017 by Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Pussy & Anal Rose