H.A.N.K. XIII 4.29.18

Start time is 12pm

Hares Stinkin Pussy, Anal Rose, Drug Em & Plug Em, Just Kenny

Hash Cash $7 or Free if your a virgin

Start: Port Gamble Forest Heritage Park, East side parking lot (next to water) https://tinyurl.com/yacjwlhk

Team Anal Plug is the Reason for OPEN SEASON!!

Your hares have ironed out some more details and now promise the following:

*Stinkin’s Song-Powered, Magic, vomit-inducing Teleportation Device.
*Drug ‘em’s Cure-all inoculations. You’ll need it.
*A chance to toast our farewell with Sad Henry.
*Bonafide beer sightings. I mean, bear sightings. Well, beer sightings too.
*Also, everyone will get laid. Everyone. Even you, Franzi!

Why? Cuz they’re leaving your asses. And do you think they would leave without showing you a trail that will beat all trails? HELL NO. We’ve enlisted the talents of the great Stinkin’ Pussy to help plan a Humpin’ style trail that will leave you breathless, witless, and definitely not sober. We’re even throwing in a new face; fresh meat and virgin hare, Just Kenny (don’t tell him, but he’s going to be the blood-sacrifice to the Almighty Gispert we’ve been planning for the Spring harvest of trails). We’ll show you amazements untold, but then we’re off to climes a warm and vistas new, and you’ll have to learn how to be this cool on your own, or at least wait until Stinkin’ can take time out to school ya.

No shit, this is gonna be a trail you won’t forget and you will do shit you’ve probably not done before. Our parting gift to you. And by the way, we’re not going to reward you for your treacherous Hash feats with Ranier or PBR. You climb a mountain? You swim a swamp? You dodge bears, blackberry bushes and barbed wire? You’ve earned a good beer. Hell, any self-respecting Hasher would come out just for that!

Don’t forget dry clothes and shoes that can lace up really, really tight. That’s not a joke.

Whistle

Vessel for drinking

Flashlight

Beer repellant err Bear

Change of clothes

Anything in your refrigerator that you want to get rid of to Open Season Team Anal Plug

Extra shoes

Author: H.A.N.K. H3

H.A.N.K. HASH was co-founded by Stinkin Pussy and Anal Rose in July of 2017. View all posts by H.A.N.K. H3