1st Anal H.A.N.K.MAS

Hares / Host Just Danica & Just Alex

When: Saturday, December 22nd starting at 7p

Where: Virginia Ave NE, Kingston WA 98346

Detrails: Cum one, cum all to the first anal H.A.N.K.mas! Wear your best ugly Christmas sweater, and bring a white elephant gift($20 price cap). There will also be a ballot box to vote for Best Trail of the Year and other categories. Canned food donation gets you in the door. Keg and snacks will be provided, but BYOLiquor and mixers.

H.A.N.K. XXII Dec 9th

A half-assed boozy romp through the woods

Hares

Father Lube & Just Sandy

Date Dec 9th

Time 12pm Hares away 1230

Where

North kitsap Heritage Park24616 Miller Bay RoadKingston Wa

What to bring:
The Franzi Man
HENRY!
Cake(it’s Father’s barfday)
6$ hash cash
Virgins (who run for free)
Spankings for Father Lube
Compass
Bug Spray
Your hot brother
New shoes
Vessel
Shiggy gear
Dry bag
Bear Spray
Cougar repellent

H.A.N.K. XX

Start at Fish Park Poulsbo

12pm

Hares away at 12:30ish

Who: Stinkin’ Pussy

What: A true half assed trail cum in costume

What to bring
FRANZY AND HENRY!
Id & cash for trail
Cake
6$ hash cash
Virgins (who run for free)
Spankings for Stinkin’
Compass
Bug Spray
Your hot brother
New shoes
Vessel
Shiggy gear
Dry bag
Bear Spray
Cougar repellent

Rain gear

H.A.N.K. 019 Sunday Oct 14

Where: North Kitsap Heritage Park (Norman road entrance by the cemetery)

When: 12:00p
Hares away at 12:30ish

Who: Double Fisted Daddy Fucker, A Few Dicked Men

What: Hey half minds, it’s Halloween and the perfect time to head into the woods to look for dead bodies. Have you ever wanted to sacrifice a Virgin to the Dark Lord of the Woods?! Well here is your chance! Come out for a shit trail that is dog and eagle friendly (there will be a longer split for you jerks who try way too hard). With light shiggy, scary spirits, and your mom (she scares me).

What to bring?

6$ hash cash
Virgins (who run for free)
Body glide for chaffing
Compass
Bug Spray
Your hot brother
New shoes
Vessel
Shiggy gear
Dry bag
Bear Spray
Cougar repellent

H.A.N.K. 18

SEPT 16

Where: Casa de LubeStained’s (Diablo³)

6769 Fir Street

Suquamish wa
Feel free to park in front of Gandolf’s house two doors down

When: 12:00p
Hares away at 12:30ish (let’s be real, it will be more like 1p)

Who: Gobble Gobble Big Balls, Father Lube, It’s Still Stained, & Peggi’s Cumming Down the Mountain

What: True trail is under 2.69 miles A-A and it’s uphill for the first 2 miles and for the next 2 it’s all shiggy!! But then you finish with 1½ miles uphill to the wrong place!

What to bring?

6$ hash cash
Vessel
Virgins (who run for free)
Body glide for chaffing for some…
Anti-Monkey-Butt for the people in the know
Compass
Independence
Whistle
Bug Spray
Your hot brother
Your Sexy sister
New shoes
Vessel
Fireworks
Shiggy gear!!
Wet bag
More virgins
Bear Spray – seriously
Golf clubs
Cougar repellent unless you have a thing for older cats
Not dog friendly…sorry our dog doesn’t play well with other pups, and it’s his house. If there’s going to be bleeding it better be from broken tequila bottles

H.A.N.K. # Sweet 16 July 22 2018

Where: Buck Lake County Park, 6959 Buck Lake Rd NE, Hansville, WA 98340

When: 12:00
Hares away at 12:30ish

Who: Stinkin’ Pussy, Fucking Shittarded, and Gandalf my Weed

What: It’s our First Analversary! Somehow a bunch of half-minded, half-assers kept our shit together to make one full rotation around the sun.

What to bring?

8$ hashcash
Virgins (who run for free)
Flotation devices Really bring em

Compass
Your hot brother
New shoes
Vessel there will be a keg
Shiggy gear
Dry bag
Bear Spray
Cougar repellent